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The Book

Out now at Amazon | Waterstones

Middle Class Handbook on Twitter
Chattering Class

10 pieces of chat for the price of 1

Continental meat sales are soaring

We just can’t get enough chorizo

While cider sales plummet

We blame the mildly annoying ice-in-the-pint-glass malarky

Could it be time for the shandy’s glorious revival?

Yes, @DaniBevins, it really could be

M&S new fashion range seems to be going down well

Phew, keen to get things back to normal ASAP

Great Gatsby themed everything

Enough art deco already

Pound shops thriving in MC areas

There’s still kudos in being a bargain hunter

Morrisons and Ocado going into business together

Ooh, Waitrose, watch out

Larders

We are so feeling the love

Citizens Advice urging ban on cold calling

And not before time!

WHSMith

Ridiculously horrible but basically the heart of today’s sad high street

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The Periodic Table of the Middle Class
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    Bitters - A work in progress

     

    Bitters were suggested in a blog entry in June 2009. This page collects the notes about them from that entry, and from other subsequent sources.

    They are named after Twitter - a site they particularly hate. Bitters basically feel drowned by the technology everywhere, and yet are niggled by the idea that they ought to be trying to keep up. They were always crap with technology, they loathe any type of user manual, and feel a peculiar mix of resentment, jealousy and hatred when they see see people such as the work experience kid clutching their copy of Wired and doing something futuristic on their iPhone.

    Secretly, even though half of them do media jobs where it is quite essential the Bitters wish it would just all go away. However, they do have urges to catch up and get on top of it, which is why they bought an iPod and then didn't get round to actually loading it with songs because they could not face the inevitable disappointment of it going wrong. They will have signed up to various websites, only to log on once then never return because they forgot their password and log in.

    Not necessarily over 30 - there is marked tendency among the under-30s to opt out of the tech rush on the grounds that face to face contact can be just as rewarding as Facebook.