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The Book

Out now at Amazon | Waterstones

Middle Class Handbook on Twitter
Chattering Class

Prince Harry

Even republicans approve, surely?

Microwaving tea

Recommended by scientists, apparently. Disgusting

No televised election debates

Disappointing; we were rather looking forward to May vs The Sturge

Broadchurch

Olivia Coleman = nailed-on Future National Treasure

Spring Bank holidays

Too close together! Very bad!

Bin-mageddon

“I queued for THREE BLOODY HOURS at B&Q for a new recycling bin! The entire town’s in CHAOS”

S-Town

To be listened to whole on a long journey for maximum effect

Using a proper paper map

Strangely satisfying

The “Flash” Flash ad

It’s back! Possibly the best ever singing dog in an advert ever

Crap tacos

Reheated, with too much chilli: middle-class kebabs, basically

Latest Comments
The Periodic Table of the Middle Class
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    « TIPS FOR GETTING RID OF 'THOSE GIFTS' | Main | How to give to charity »
    Monday
    Dec242012

    What does Santa expect from the modern middle-class home?  

    When I was a kid, the food that one left out for Father Christmas on the 24th was straightforward - sherry, mince pie, possible carrot for Rudolph. In recent years, however, things seem to have changed. “Reindeer food” (aka oats in a gift bag sold at Christmas Fairs for 50p a go) has become popular; whisky is edging out unfashionable sherry, and my own daughter insists on cups of tea. This leads me to wonder what the good MC person should leave out to feel they are au courant, and to not disappoint Santa? A hearty home-made soup in a John Lewis flask would be practical. Brief instructions for the Nespresso machine might be appreciated if he’s flagging. And perhaps sherry might once more be acceptable if one made it a Pedro Ximinez in a bit of artisan glassware. 

    Obviously any carrot should be organic, but what else do you reckon, middle-class revelers and wassaillers?  Do let us have your suggestions and secrets. After all, we wouldn’t want your house to have nicer gifts than ours, would we?

    Reader Comments (3)

    Santa appreciates irony, so something from Pippa's 'Celebrate'? Pheasant goujons, perhaps.

    December 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJ J Carter

    Rudolph got an Abel and Cole carrot. FC had Manzanilla La Gitana sherry and a good old chocolate digestive. My husband and I are late with lunch after having to spend time doubled over with your book. Have you eavesdropped on us for the last year perchance? Thank you for an inspired Christmas present x

    December 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca Mitchell

    I so wanted the "magic reindeer food" to be true!!

    December 26, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkittensilks

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