Monday
Dec312012
MC NEW YEAR'S EVE RULES
Monday, December 31, 2012 at 9:30AM 
Another New Year's Eve, another minefield of social nuance and celebratory etiquette to carefully step around. Here's a few ground rules for keeping your December 31st reassuringly middle class.
- The cut-off age for queuing outside nightclubs on NYE is 29. Yes, even if your mate’s mate is DJing.
- If NY at your local pub is looking like the only option, remember the mantra: “It was soooo easy. Great atmosphere and a really eclectic crowd”.
- If the prospect of a dinner party in East Sheen is losing its appeal, unlucky, there’s no pulling out now. Unless you have kids. In which case, Lola’s got a temperature. Done.
- If you’re hosting a party, make sure you pop an invitation through the neighbours letterbox on either side. Don’t worry, Steve and Angela won’t come.
- Worried your outfit isn't New Yeary enough? Just add fake eyelashes.
- Served as an amuse bouche before the cheeseboard, Vodka sorbet is the acceptable face of doing shots on a Monday night.
- Keep an eye out for double dippers around the tzatziki and bread sticks. It’s quite simply a norovirus accident waiting to happen.
- With house parties, there’s no clearer way of saying I bought this 5 minutes ago in the newsagent around the corner than 2 bottles of Campo Viejo. (Good idea to take the Londis price sticker off too).
- And, no, 2 bottles of Sainsbury’s cava isn’t really better than one bottle of champagne.
- For a house party, the cheaper the fireworks the better - everyone likes an underdog, no one likes a show off.
- Pre-booking a cab doesn’t mean you’re dull, it means you don’t want to shout out your postcode three times to a man from Diamond Cars while dancing to Billie Jean, before lurking in the hallway till 3am.
- If you’ve decided to stay in, make sure you tell everyone you know beforehand. Then it becomes a cultural statement of self-empowerment and not just an evening on the sofa watching Graham Norton.
Reader Comments (1)
Missing apostrophe and incorrect bracket/ full stop placement. Come on, you're really letting yourself down MCH!