How to be middle class: the fine art of concealing a Sky dish

Our recent observation that Sky TV seems to be becoming acceptable for the middle classes prompted one reader, KingBilly, to email us to say that one condition of his dad getting Sky for the family was that the dish could be hidden, i.e not put on the side of the house thereby making the house look downmarket. “He paid a lot of extra money,” Billy recalled, “to send a man up onto the flat roof, where it was invisible to all but the birds.” He wondered if this was common (i.e usual, not vulgar), and a quick survey of our office and contributors suggests that it is indeed. A non-scientific poll suggests the following top five locations for dish-concealment:

1. Flat roof: ideal, though a bit embarrassing if the man who comes to fix it says he just puts his on the wall.
2. Garden shed: quite appealing, as it may make the neighbours think you have Sky in the shed, which is impressive. Wiring an issue, though.
3. Back of house: fine if you have no houses, behind, obviously. But reveals how conscious you are of other’s opinions.
4. Garden wall: one person claims to have seen this. We are skeptical. We have however seen one on a wooden frame in a garden.
5. Neighbours house: i.e, paying a neighbour to suffer the indignity on your behalf. Never actually tried, so far as we know. And not really worth it, as one doesn’t want to live next to a dish either.

Comments

[office pest]

Seriously, have it put on the chimney stack. You'll pay a little more to have it fitted, but it looks small up there and very normal. Plus, if you have anything opposite, like trees, or the Church, or the Castle, :), the extra height provides a better line of sight to the satellite.

The only drawbacks are accessibility in case of a fault and a lack of protection normally given by your eaves against the 'wrong kind of snow' which can stop the dish working for a while. A small risk; it has happened only twice in 5 years here in the Heart of England, despite plenty of snowfall.

It's a setting which provides a sensible alternate solution and avoids the 'side/front of house issue'; the BBC thought of it in 1936. It's perfect - in broadcasting terms, how much more MC could you expect to get?