BEING MIDDLE CLASS AT THE AIRPORT: FEAR OF THE LUGGAGE CAROUSEL
Wednesday, April 11, 2012 at 9:30AM 
For the middle classes, who never want to make a fuss, the luggage carousel is the most nail-biting part of the journey. You’ve already had to deal with watching your worldly possessions roll away from you at the luggage check and now you have to pretend you aren’t scared that they won’t have arrived.
The middle-class traveller will obviously have insurance against lost luggage. But will insurance ever pay back the amount of time you’ve spent meticulously packing for the trip? Can it ever replace the sentimental value of that battered old suitcase that’s been on five (yes, really!) continents?
And while it might provide cash, it can’t replace the authenticity of the indigenous or unusual item bought on holiday (this is a concern for the returning traveller, rather than the outgoing one). The MC holidaymaker will always have purchased a handmade, one-of-a-kind glass vase from a bazaar in Cairo or an ostentatious, oversized Bloomingdales-branded snow globe from New York.
We hope that our guidelines below help you create the impression that you are not terrified that your baggage has been lost on the least fun carousel in the world:
1. Stand a few people back from the belt so you don’t look too eager.
2. Do not stare obsessively at the belt.
3. Do not tell aloud the horror story of when your luggage ended up in another country and you didn’t get it back for three months.
4. Show you are calm and carefree by making a joke about the pink suitcase belonging to your husband/the burly gentleman next to you.
Reader Comments (5)
Fewer moments can compare to that of luggage reappearing. I once took a photo of it, such was my joy.
I dream of the day when my suitcase will be first out of the tunnel and onto the belt.
Ever since I stenciled "MORE PAY FOR OUR MAGNIFICENT LUGGAGE HANDLERS" onto my suitcase it has always been first out of the tunnel and onto the belt.
Bugger the luggage - *I* want to ride on the carousel
After the non-appearance of my luggage on the carousel, I once asked a frequent-flyer executive-type friend what I should do next. "Do you have a gold frequent-flyer card?" "Well, no". "Then I have no idea".