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The Book

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Chattering Class

Prince Harry

Even republicans approve, surely?

Microwaving tea

Recommended by scientists, apparently. Disgusting

No televised election debates

Disappointing; we were rather looking forward to May vs The Sturge


Olivia Coleman = nailed-on Future National Treasure

Spring Bank holidays

Too close together! Very bad!


“I queued for THREE BLOODY HOURS at B&Q for a new recycling bin! The entire town’s in CHAOS”


To be listened to whole on a long journey for maximum effect

Using a proper paper map

Strangely satisfying

The “Flash” Flash ad

It’s back! Possibly the best ever singing dog in an advert ever

Crap tacos

Reheated, with too much chilli: middle-class kebabs, basically

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The Periodic Table of the Middle Class
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    Pack. Taxi. Airport. Check in. Fly. Land. Rain. Taxi. Home. Unpack. Why, wonders the middle-class traveller the day before setting off to go home, does the journey always go faster when you know you are in the office the next day? Perhaps the sheer volume of memos, emails and other assorted bits of paper waiting you in your in tray affects time itself. In any event, the journey home is just a sunburnt, back to front, fast forward version of the journey there. With added lethargy and misery.

    The homeward leg does, however, have its own unique hurdles which any middle class traveller worth their salt must overcome. The first challenge – and one of the biggest – comes before the journey even begins. What to wear on the way? Wear what you’d had on while away, and you’ll look wrong once you land. Wear your domestic look while abroad, and you’ll spoil the last few hours. What to do?

    Ideally the middle class person would arrive back in England in a full Djellaba, proving that their cultural horizons have been broadened and of course that they got on rather splendidly with the locals. But there are practical considerations; traditional North African dress is fine in North Africa but doesn’t fare too well in drizzly England. The best solution is to combine elements of cultural dress with practical travelling gear. Jeans with a Madiba shirt, or a Dashiki with a jumper underneath, will allow an arrival home in comfort and multi cultural style.

    Reader Comments (1)

    A dashiki over a jumper? A sartorial car crash. I had no idea that MCs were so sad.

    May 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterscs

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