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The Book

Out now at Amazon | Waterstones

Middle Class Handbook on Twitter
Chattering Class

Quality Street

It's too soon for the first box of the season

Mince pies

Too soon for them, too, unless homemade for a school fair

MasterChef's pig's trotter challenge

A bit much

Secret Life of Five-Year-Olds

Those little monsters are just brilliant. Lovely teachers, too

'Reach out'

This has to stop

Being told 'things' don't bring you lasting happiness

Yeah, but what about things like the NutriBullet?

Waitrose 'Heritage Collection' bath stuff

We see what you're doing, and we're not biting

'Excited for'

This is creeping in and it's very worrying

Over-hashtagging tweets

#Notnecessaryorclever #Really #Annoying #Stop


Back in, and we couldn't be happier

Latest Comments
The Periodic Table of the Middle Class
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    « How to be MC: rehearsing your order in the fast food queue | Main | Has the world gone soft? »

    Chattering Class: What you’re all on about

    Is a flat white really any different from a latte and does anyone care?

    Good questions, @heidistephens, and not really, no

    Supposed “perfect property” is two miles from supermarket, 10 miles from beach and walking distance to pub

    But what if you fancy a Big Mac?

    MC men leave cafetieres and “difficult” washing up objects un-dealt with in the sink

    So they do, @Penandspoon; this is worthy of some investigation

    Homemade cheese is apparently the next foodie trend


    Buying something in John Lewis but using a Poundland bag, as @whoismatthew did

    How achingly now

    Middlesborough primary school bans northern phrases such as “nowt” and “yous”

    MCs are nervously saying nowt about this

    Motorway sign spotted by @babelmonk: “Take your litter home, other people do”

    Marvellously passive aggressive

    Harris & Hoole “artisan” coffee shop controlled by Tesco

    Freaking us all out big time

    Confidently showing used train/bus tickets

    As @DrZeds says: a great sport alas now largely spoiled by technology


    No. It's “university” (quite so, @clarebtweets)

    Reader Comments (2)

    Leave the cafetiere in the sink. If he wants another cup of coffee, he'll have to wash it. Make your own coffee in a jug. Or buy your own cafetiere.

    February 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

    'Nowt' is actually spelt 'nought' and is a perfectly acceptable word.

    February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRon Superior

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