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This week's fiddle-faddle

Babybel

Must be MC; they have a waxed jacket, says @heidistephens

Mini M&S 99p cheeses

Compelling

Personalised gifts

Always luggage, never towels. Distinction c/o @ohchrisburton

Cheese toasties

Need a more grown-up name, says @Gary_Bainbridge

America's "grilled cheese"

Not good enough. Implies there's no bread involved

Croque Anglaise

Possible winner from @Robins_Books

Supermarket pasta salads

Always, always rubbish

Andrex's "rollaphobia" campaign

No, we do NOT leave loads of rolls around the house!

Gladioli

Grand and colourful; very MC

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The Periodic Table of the Middle Class
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    « Unexpected existential crisis in the bagging area | Main | How to be MC: rehearsing your order in the fast food queue »
    Saturday
    Feb092013

    The three hypocrisies of the supermarket car park  

    The supermarket car park is not a happy society. There are unspoken rules, there are conceits, there is aggression. It is riddled with selfishness and hypocrisy. These are the three principle hypocrisies.

    Hypocrisy #1

    People fuss around trying to manoeuvre into tiny spaces just because they are near to the door. You hear yourself making comments such as ‘You’d think they can’t walk’. Then, you park as near as you can to the door convincing yourself you are not being lazy; it’s just that you are busy and in an incredible rush.

    Hypocrisy #2

    You’re annoyed when people stroll along with their trolleys, barely looking out for cars pulling out of spaces. ‘Don’t they realise this is actually like a type of road?’ you grumble. Then, as you walk back to your own car, you think to yourself that this really should be made safer for pedestrians, all these cars just lurching out willy nilly…

    Hypocrisy #3

    You’re annoyed by how full the car park is in December. You hear yourself  grumbling about how ridiculously early people start their Christmas shopping. ‘The shops are only shut for two days!’, you say, even though there you are, stocking up on your favourite condiments early as they always sell out before Christmas…

    Reader Comments (3)

    I always knew you were a North Londoner....the photo of Holloway Waitrose car park gives it away. I am honoured to breath the same fragrant air...

    April 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHelen

    "to breathe". The horror of posting a typo on this blog. I will give myself a good talking to. *sobs*

    April 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHelen

    You're forgiven, Helen!

    April 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaddie Y

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