They look so lovely, those artisanal bars of soap, prettily peppered with real lavender or topped with whole rose buds. Some have sticks of cinnamon gently suspended inside; others are adorned with a slice of crystalised orange or an aromatic star anise. They beg you to buy them – and who wouldn’t love these creatures nestling in their soap dish instead of a plastic pump action handwash?
But DO NOT BE FOOLED. These things are evil. They worm their way into your middle class affections with their ‘natural’ and ‘hand made’ schtick, and their chaste wrappings tied up with raffia, then – wham! – the next thing you know you’ve got dead rose petals stuck to your skin and are sitting in a bath full of potpourri sieving out the bits.
We are sorry to be the ones to disillusion you, but sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind.