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The Book

Out now at Amazon | Waterstones

Middle Class Handbook on Twitter
Chattering Class

Prince Harry

Even republicans approve, surely?

Microwaving tea

Recommended by scientists, apparently. Disgusting

No televised election debates

Disappointing; we were rather looking forward to May vs The Sturge


Olivia Coleman = nailed-on Future National Treasure

Spring Bank holidays

Too close together! Very bad!


“I queued for THREE BLOODY HOURS at B&Q for a new recycling bin! The entire town’s in CHAOS”


To be listened to whole on a long journey for maximum effect

Using a proper paper map

Strangely satisfying

The “Flash” Flash ad

It’s back! Possibly the best ever singing dog in an advert ever

Crap tacos

Reheated, with too much chilli: middle-class kebabs, basically

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The Periodic Table of the Middle Class
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    Entries in Bobster (2)


    Lost and found #2: Arthur Negus


    It is often a surprise to younger middle-class folk to discover that Antiques Roadshow has not been on television since broadcasting began, but in fact started out only in 1977. It can also be interesting for them to learn that this grand old flagship of British middle-classness had a sort-of predecessor, in the now-forgotten Going For Song (see above), which went out on the BBC in the late Sixties and early  Seventies. Most pleasing of all, though, is the revelation of the man integral to both these shows; the incomparable and now sadly-overlooked TV genius, Mr Arthur Negus.
    Arthur George Negus OBE (1903-1985) was born in Reading, and took over his fathers antiques business when his father dies in 1920. He then – and this is one of the great things about him – stuck with antiques until 1966, when he was invited to appear on the panel of Going For A Song. On his first show he made such an impression with his slow, grave West-Country delivery, obviously deep knowledge and bonhomie that he never looked back. Coming over as the sort of person you desperately hope will serve you when you go to a shop with a problem requiring an honest appraisal, he seemed even then an enduring relic of a lost Britain of civility and gentle humour. Impersonators such as Mike Yarwood leapt onto his distinctive mannerisms and accent, and a star was born.
    When Antiques Roadshow needed a presenter he was an obvious choice as anchor, and he did the job so well that in 1982 (when he also received his OBE) he was given his own show, Arthur Negus Enjoys.  Looking back at him now, one can appreciate many things, not least those superb spectacles that today would be so very, very fashionable, and his velvety, burr-ing accent. Most of all though, as a man who didn’t even begin his TV career until he was 63, he is a reminder of the idiocy of TV’s current obsession with youth. Older people are great on TV; they lack that fidgety need to impress that the young have, and give the impression of actually knowing something more than how to read an autocue. Watch the clip above, or dig out some old Antiques Roadshows, and see if you can disagree. 


    The Friday question: Is it politically correct to hate Greggs the baker?

    Flickr: Paul RobertsonFor reasons I’m about to explain, I’m a bit nervous about admitting what I’m going to admit here, but – I really like Greggs food. It could be because there’s one in the shopping centre near where my family live, and when I got to visit, we have a little tradition of me bringing some cream cakes from there; it could be because, say what you like, their bacon sandwiches are always reliable; it is most likely because I just really like the meaty hot slices they do.

    But the other weekend, I was walking to a football match (this was in Doncaster, by the way) with a friend who you’d have to say is very middle-class (senior manager at local council, bit trendy drives a massive Audi) and when I suggested getting a slice to eat as we walked, he looked at me and said, “I wouldn’t have thought you’d eat there.” When I asked him what he meant, he said he thought that because I didn’t like burgers much, and “Gregg’s is just McDonald’s with pastry.” This had never occurred to me before – am I thick? I must admit that when I went home later and Googled this, I saw a few people shared his misgivings.

    So I’m not sure if, wishing to preserve my middle-class status, I should give up on my trusty pal now. True, its customers are not the poshest, but naively I hadn’t thought of there being a trendy PC angle to it. I’m not sure that those caramel doughnuts will taste the same in future.