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The Book

Out now at Amazon | Waterstones

Middle Class Handbook on Twitter
Chattering Class

Prince Harry

Even republicans approve, surely?

Microwaving tea

Recommended by scientists, apparently. Disgusting

No televised election debates

Disappointing; we were rather looking forward to May vs The Sturge


Olivia Coleman = nailed-on Future National Treasure

Spring Bank holidays

Too close together! Very bad!


“I queued for THREE BLOODY HOURS at B&Q for a new recycling bin! The entire town’s in CHAOS”


To be listened to whole on a long journey for maximum effect

Using a proper paper map

Strangely satisfying

The “Flash” Flash ad

It’s back! Possibly the best ever singing dog in an advert ever

Crap tacos

Reheated, with too much chilli: middle-class kebabs, basically

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    Sons and lovers: a florist spills a great Valentine’s Day secret about who your man loves the most

    Flickr: Heather Cowper
    I’ve been a florist for nearly 30 years, first working for someone in their shop and then working for myself off a market, and over the years you come to see the same things happening. Other than the choice of flowers people go for (people like more natural colours and a more cottage-type look in bouquets more and more) I’d say more has stayed the same than has changed. One thing that never changes is that men leave it until the last minute, and then act surprised when there isn’t much choice left or we can’t do them a bouquet in five minutes. I think most women would expect that but I don’t think they would expect the other thing I notice which is that most men spend more on their mothers on mothers day than on their girlfriends and wives at Valentine’s Day. 
    Come Valentines when you tell them the price of a dozen roses they pull a face and you can see them wondering if they can away with something cheaper. Whereas on Mother’s Day, they’re more likely to want a big bouquet and sod the cost. That’s right across the board as well all men from all walks of life are the same. I often think if their wives could see them choosing  flowers, they’d divorce them. And if they’re inclined to think he takes more notice of his mum than of his wife then I have to say they’re probably right.